Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
