If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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