you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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