ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
