I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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