just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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