You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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