it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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