apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love having hate sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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