these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
