Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
