I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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