I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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