you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
