i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My pussy is not your playground.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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