he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
