CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
