Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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