For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.