dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
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A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?