Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.