Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"