I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
