She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
