whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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