i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
