After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
