Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
