she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
NoShamevember. You game?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
