Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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