why didn't you poke me back
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
