hotel room ftw
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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