can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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