You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
