So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
