forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
