well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
