Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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