Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
