Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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