WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
