True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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