I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
