just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
