Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
