Swine flu. Run for my life!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize