fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
