why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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