hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
