i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
