Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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