He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize