I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.