Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize