We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize