the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
