I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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