all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
