Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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