I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
