By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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