Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
