bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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