yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
