I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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