Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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