dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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