The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
