My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
